Oh boy! It's been a roller coaster these last few months. There's been cyclones, curve balls, break ups, break downs and a whole lot of loud mean mind chatter to put in it's place. It's been a real test of courage & character, trying to be compassionate towards myself and not letting the odds snowball out of control. Here are some of the tips and tricks that I've used to process life's set backs in a healthy way and pop out the other end feeling like a warrior woman (Xena styles).
1: Have your melt down!
You have, have, HAVE to allow yourself to fully feel it. Let it happen, vent, let it out, have a big fat cry if you need to! You know deep down at the end of the day you are going to be fine but your smaller, more egoic self is freaking the F out so just let yourself feel your emotions. This isn't about being an A-hole or lashing out at others, it's about being honest with yourself and how you're feeling.
2: Don't make any major decisions
Now is not the time to get out the kitchen scissors and cut your own bangs! It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind when disaster strikes and become reactive. Step away from the scissors!
3: Let it all out
Friends, family, journal, partner or pets, whoever/whatever it is - let it out. Getting the mess out of your brain and articulating your feelings will help you move through the drama and don't go feeling guilty about it either! Feeling bad about feeling bad is counter-intuitive and is really just your ego sneaking in all the nooks and crannies to give you the knock around. You are human, show yourself the love and compassion you deserve especially during the hard times. If your bestie was having a bad day would you ring her up to tell her how much of a failure she was, how much of a mess her life was, or would you tell her how bad the situation is and lead her into a flailing mess or negativity? Hell no you wouldn't! So don't be doing that yourself either OK.
4: Take a breather to let off steam
This can come in any way, shape or form that works for you. Some run marathons when they are in distress. Others benefit from a gentle stroll in nature. I personally love to dance, the D-Floor is where i go to let all my emotions rip (and I can look like a total animal doing it) and it feels amazing. Exercise is well and truly known for it's stress releasing magic powers so do whatever you can to get out and about. Now is the time to up the anti on all your self care stuff so go out of your way to do those little things that light you up.
Meditation is the ultimate technology for creating peace form the inside out. It helps me stay connected to the loving and strong side of myself as well as cultivate the strength to simply observe my circumstances, without getting swept away by them. This way when it really hits the fan you are able to act instead of react to whatever circumstances are thrown your way.
It's all very well to have let your ego have it's tantrum about it, and feeling out that side is essential but at the end of the day, your higher self knows that everything is going to be OK, everything happens for a reason, the universe has your back and yada yada.
7: Attitude Alignment
Now that you've had the meltdown, cooled off and clarified the situation it's time to put the brain into place because your attitude will determine the difference between an ordeal, or an adventure. Own your part not in the tragedy of it, but in the outcome. It is completely up to you to either grasp the situation by the gonads or let it overcome you. BTW if you do the latter - you know the universe is going to keep sending you the same situation over and over again until you get the lesson from it. Remember; bad things happen for you, not to you.
8: Flick the gratitude switch
When all else flails - get your gratitude on! There is a light to every dark, sometimes you just have to put your gratitude goggles on so that you can see. Try to list all the things that you are grateful for within this particular situation. For example - you are stuck in the traffic jam of a lifetime, you could either A: simmer away in outrage, or B: start focusing on all the things you love about your car, the freedom it gives you, how you now have the opportunity to look around and admire your surroundings, you could listen to even more of your favourite songs on your journey and hey, you could even call a friend (if your standing still that is - no accidents please!). It is literally impossible to feel anger and hate when your focusing on love. IMPOSSIBLE. It takes practise to reach the point of gratitude in the heat of the hottest moments, a lot of the time your ego will be hanging on for dear life to the negativity but it's like anything - practice makes perfect!
And there you have it. 8 golden nuggets of goodness to help you move through a bad time with ease and grace. You got this!
Love, love, love xxx